Sometimes life lessons come from surprising sources. No one was more surprised than myself that I was taught a lesson by Jim Carrey. I urge you to watch his commencement speech, it is beautiful. When he stated “I learned many, many lessons from my father, but not least of which is that you can fail at something you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance doing what you love.” His words resonated deeply within my soul.
I think that anytime that you are about to make a big change in your life you are faced with the walls of No, You shouldn’t do that, you are too old to reinvent yourself, if you do this you are being selfish and the No wall statements go on. *edit It depends on the person’s intent if I consider it a no wall. I know people love us and don’t want us to leave. I love that people want us to stay. xoxo end edit* It goes without saying that we do have to look at the responsibilities that we have towards others but that does not mean that we can’t ever take a chance in life. How often do we allow ourselves to be walled into paths in lives that we simply don’t want?
When I initially told people that I was moving to Ireland, I got a fair mixture of reactions. For every positive reaction I was presented with at least four no walls. “I couldn’t leave my family, won’t you miss your family here? We are too old, Karen, to reinvent our lives, so why are you trying to do that? Why would you want to move to Ireland, don’t they have a lot of unemployment?” I have to be conscious and not receive the no walls while maintaining positive relationships with the people who are in my life.
The harder no walls to ignore are the ones that come from inside. It can all be too easy to second guess yourself out of happiness. Who hasn’t done that at least once? You would know that I was lying if I didn’t admit that it is scary to think about leaving my family and friends, who are my chosen family, here in the states. It is a bit ironic that it is their love for me and my family that gives me extra strength to choose not to live in fear but go above it and truly live.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out every fear. 1 John 4:18
You will only ever have two choices: love or fear. Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart. Jim Carrey
Yes, we are doing a lot of research; I spend more time on my mac perusing Irish immigration regulations, employment, politics, and real estate than you would care to know about. We are setting up our household budget, finding work, and have found a home to rent in Ireland. There is a difference between doing due diligence and living in fear. We are laying the groundwork to increase our chances of being successful. As Ben Franklin said “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” I have no doubt that we will reach our goal of being happy in Ireland even if I am not 100% sure what this path may show myself and my family or even where it may eventually lead. Here is the fun bit: even if we are not successful in a conventional sense, we will have gained experience. We will have gained friendships. We will kindle relationships within our family. We will have taught our children that it is ok to take chances even if the world says you have failed. When you live in fear, that when you truly fail at life. I choose love always!
Let’s be honest, these views are an even better reason to focus on love.